I know, you are sitting there all shocked thinking “what! She hasn’t left her baby yet!?” I have. Like, twice. Well…ok, like four times, but only two of those times did I leave Kinsey with someone other than her father, and those somebodies were my parents. I went and got coffee when I was in Colorado with a friend, and was gone for like 3 hours. Then, when Kinsey was 3ish week’s old, my parents were in New Jersey and Bryant and I went to dinner. We were gone for an hour. We were 2 blocks away. I know it. I KNOW.

Here is the thing. We spend time together, just the two of us, every single night after Kinsey goes to bed. So, it’s not like we have been ignoring each other for months. Bryant works late…it is rare that he is home before 7pm. Kinsey goes to bed between 7-7:30pm, so his time with her is on the weekends. So, we have never really tried to schedule in a date night and get a babysitter because…well…we love our baby.

So. That changes this week. On Friday, Bryant and I will be celebrating our 4 year wedding anniversary. It also marks 8 years of life together, and we are going out. I asked a couple from our House Church if they would babysit for us. She is an occupational therapist…that works¬†solely¬†with babies! I am not at all worried about her credentials. But, last night, I had nightmares about my house starting on fire while I was at dinner. Which then suddenly turned into another dream that involved my baby being left in the middle of the ocean on a surfboard. I am seriously disturbed.

I know it will take just one time of things going smoothly for me to realize that we can do things like this more often. But, I have to get through this one time. I want to spend time with just my husband, out, in public. I really do. And, Bryant knows that I am pretty stressed out about all things related to Kinsey, so, I think he is expecting me to freak out a bit. I STILL creep into her bedroom and hover over her like a weirdo night stalker, staring to make sure I see her chest moving. I am THAT mother. When I first told Bryant that I got a babysitter, he said “we need to get another cell phone, preferably on a different carrier in case Verizon goes down.” It made me feel better. To know, that my husband, even in his joking, can relate a little bit to my anxiety…well, it helps.

When did you first leave your babies’ at home with a babysitter that was not blood related? Am I totally nuts? Make me feel better please.