I start school again in 20 days. I bought my school supplies last week. I already wrote in my notebooks the name of the class and professor and used my highlighters. I am going back to college, building on my under-graduate, and holy cow. A month ago, I had my 2nd/3rd/4th thoughts about it. Questioning whether it was the right thing…nerves about if I should even attempt school right now; feelings of selfishness because its expensive and I don’t know when I will be going back to work; stress about being able to juggle it all. But, here I am, writing in my notebooks and highlighting “important” things, and getting all excited to learn again.
I do not know when I will work again. I do not know if I will get to use my new fancy Graduate degree. But, I know that I love fashion. I love textiles. I love the business of apparel, and I love to learn. I really do. And for now, that is going to have to suffice.
The idea of putting my energy into something that is solely for myself, for my own happiness/worth…that part, excites me. I love being a Mom, and I do the best that I can at that, for Kinsey. I love being a wife, and I do that, to the best of my ability, for my husband. This, will be something that I get to do for me. I’m focusing on my health, for me, and now also, my education, for me. I think it is important to be selfish sometimes, because in doing that, you become the best self that you can be for others. My husband has encouraged me so much in this, even when I have been uncertain. And, as I have watched him study and sacrifice for the last 3 years, I have been inspired. He set his goals, and I saw him give so much of himself to accomplish them. I admire him for it. And now, it is my turn. To prove to myself that I can set goals, and achieve them.
Thrilled. I am thrilled beyond measure. Though, I am sure, in a few months, when I am in it, I will also experience a new kind of stress…but, that is what taking on new challenges is all about–balance.