At 11pm on February 28th, I scribbled a letter down to my sweet Kinsey for her 2nd Birthday on March 1st. This is what I wrote:
My Kinsey Girl,
People always say how time goes by so quickly with children. They remind us, as parents, to savor the moments. I’ve found that while this is true, it doesn’t help slow the time down. So, here we are. Age 2. And, I’m having a hard time emotionally letting go of this first year, because you are supposed to be my baby girl. It’s a challenging thing as a parent, to hold onto the days when you were small, and not feel a sadness that we won’t see that time again. But, I love witnessing your little life. I love how our relationship has changed, and I love seeing my love for you reciprocated with your words and actions versus cries for simply needing a bottle or a diaper change. You see me, and you love me. It’s an incredible gift.
In the last year, you’ve grown in so many ways. You’ve blossomed into this beautiful little girl–full of laughter and personality. You’ve always had some spunk, but somewhere in the last year, I’ve found that you want to make me laugh. Just today, you threw your hands up in the air and said “UH OH, MAMA.” I looked over, and nothing had happened to warrant the “Uh-oh.” Then, you started laughing. You played a trick on me, and I could see the joy in your face. Let’s hope that your tricks remain rather harmless.
You entered year 1 walking, and you are finishing it in a full run. I think this is a metaphor for how precious this time is to me. It is all fleeting. You are moving through life at rocket speed, but you often let me just hold you. My most treasured seconds are in your hugs; when you rest your head on my shoulder before bed time, and when you comb my hair with your finger tips. It’s in these small gestures of love that I know you are tender, and gentle. By nature, you nurture. You give your hippo kisses, and try to share your meals with him. Hippo, consequently gets a lot of baths, but there is nothing sweeter than seeing your concern and attention for something that means so much to you. I love that about your heart, my dear, and I can’t wait to see that part of you grow.
This year, you will no longer be my only. This year, you will gain a little brother or sister. My Mama heart struggles with this too. I can’t imagine having the capacity to love another person as much as I love you. But, I am so excited for the moment when the two of you meet. I am thrilled to see you learn to be a big sister. But mostly, I am going to treasure the next 5 1/2 months when it is still just us. I promise that this year will be an epic one, and a beautiful one. You will learn to share even more of yourself with me, and I promise to listen with all of my heart. You are a true gift, and exactly what I’ve always needed and wanted.
I love you. So deeply, and unmeasurably. Happy Birthday, my sweet girl.